A decision.

Lately my son has been wanting to play with his "bew bew's" aka guns. I've been struggling with whether or not I should allow play guns in my home. All the other mothers say no, we don't let our sons play with guns, I don't want them shooting them at people. I wanted to be like all those other mothers. But you know something I have finally decided that guns will be allowed in my home. For one we have avid hunters in not only our home, but in relatives homes also! I want my son to know how to respect a gun from an early age, knowing what is right from wrong, and how to respect a gun. And you know one day, if it comes down to it, I want him to know that it is okay to fight for our freedoms, fight for the freedoms of our homes, and families. So from now on, my son will go around freely learning how to use a play gun! :) 

Updates.

Things in my little family's life has been anything but normal lately! It all started with Tucker, He was running a 103 fever one night, and nothing would take it down, so I took him in to the ER, he came home with two ear infections, strep, and a sinus infection. By the time I got his medication it was about 2 in the morning. A couple of days later, he was getting an extremely bad rash, and he was getting bumps all over, like chicken pox bumps. Took him back to the doctor, found out he was allergic to the medication, and on top of that he was indeed chicken pox! (yes he was vaccinated for them!) wasn't to bad of a case, and he seem to do really well with just a little bit of Benadryl. Finally he started to getting better day by day. 


About a week or so later, I went to bed with a normal tummy ache, I've had those before.....This one didn't go away, I got up, I thought oh maybe period cramps? Can't be, and they never have been that painful! Poops cramps!? hahaha I've never had them but family members say they are terrible, I chocked it up to that. At about 11 that night I was hunched over in pain having a hard time breathing. I've always been told the Holy Ghost will not shout. But as I said a silent prayer I asked for a LOUD answer to the question of if I should go into the hospital or not, nothing ever did shout, but I just had that feeling that I really needed to go in, If I don't tomorrow there would be a lot of trouble. I'm glad I listened at 1 am After a CT scan my doctor told me he didn't think I would get into the surgical room before my Appendix burst. So at 1:30 am I was rushed into emergency surgery. While in there, I was told that they found a hernia and they fixed that also. They had to make extra holes also because the scar tissue from my c-section was causing a lot of problems. (Keloid scarring is the devil!) :) But I am grateful that everything seems to be okay! 


After this all happened I got home in time to watch my husbands g-ma pass away, what a crazy experience that was. It was peaceful, not that watching somebody die is easy, but it was peaceful. She is finally out of pain, and not hunched over. I know she is in such a better place right now! 


We've also been having our colds running around her lately and wishing it would go away, but time has to take it's course! Anyways!




This is the Season, (should be year round) where I am truly grateful for the life that I love, For the family that I have, for the friends, whom all make my life a peace of heaven! I'm thankful for the Gospel in my life. I'm thankful for my husband, and my beautiful children! I'm so in love with this time of the year! 

Things on my mind.

This isn't directed at anybody, but there has been a lot on my mind, and what else to do but write it down to try and make it seem less of a burden. I really hate how petty a lot of people are, and even though we are years out of high school how some people seem to think that they are still young enough to act like children, or hormonal teens. 


Ever since I've had to almost death experiences in one year, I have come to realize how the little things shouldn't matter, at all. If you want to have babies, then expect the bad with the good. It's a part of nature to throw up every "morning" and feel like crap for most of it. You know when you get pregnant feel honored and lucky because not everybody can get pregnant, and those people are truly the ones who want children the most. One of my best friend has had a hard time getting pregnant and I know for a fact that she would love, more then anything to throw up just to carry a child. 


If you don't get along with your family, make an effort. Put the little things aside and make it work. It's not worth the heartache of fighting all your life and never having the "time" to work things out. If you don't get along with your in-laws try and find a common ground. You know they won't be around forever. Savor the moments you have with them, because you never know when it's going to be your last chance. Put your pride aside just for a little while,think how lucky you are to have family and friends that truly love you. Another one of my best friend is in Afghanistan....  All she wants is to be is home. While other people complain that they are bored or have nothing to do, or how miserable their life is, she is fighting for YOUR freedom to "complain". And you know another thing....Money doesn't bring happiness. Yes it is a must to live, but with out love you have nothing, and money can't fix that. 


Sometimes I wish that people can be placed in my shoes. I wish some people will get pay cuts that make them have to struggle a little bit to tame their pride. That's fantastic if you can save every month, but you now something, that isn't an option for some people right now. Finding out you have Cancer with no health insurance kind of puts a damper in your budget! And being told you can't go to work because of this illness for a few years...and you can't get disability. I'm not complaining (okay maybe I am) but i'm so thankful to be alive. Just don't make others feel terrible that they can't provide, or they need to be doing more. It hurts. 


We are all guilty of being petty at some point in time, and we have the right to complain. but stop doing it ALL the time. Find something good in life at least once a day! Find things around you that you can be thankful for! Love on your family, make sure they know you love them before it's to late. Make the change in your life for the better. 

Birth Of Our Little Girl

I can't believe it's been two weeks already since our little Gracie has joined our family. If you have read my other blogs, I didn't have the best time with my last c-section. Needless to say I'm truly blessed that we decided to have another baby because this time around was so amazing. I'm glad that I set the fear aside and decided to add to our growing family. There might be another addition in the future....yes....but in the FUTURE! 

Sunday night my nerves were on end, I was a grouch, upset, and felt a ton of fear. Memories were flooding back from the c-section I had with my son. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way, our little girl was about to join this world and I wanted to feel love, not fear. I asked my husband and father to give me a blessing. (husbands first blessing) :) He's helped in giving blessings but never gave one. It was beautiful and I cried through the whole thing. From that moment on, I felt at peace and I knew everything was going to go fantastic!  

We got to the hospital at 6 am to get prep'ed for surgery. They did the normal check blood pressure, blood sugars, place the IVs, shave, get medical history, etc. My nurse was an older lady...I don't know what it was about her but she made me laugh hysterically and made me feel at ease. We had a wonderful conversation, I didn't want her to leave. It was kind of fun also to see the interns trying to get things organized, it made me giggle along with the head nurse, bless their hearts for trying! I also meet with the anesthesiologist (whom I fell in love with!) Spoke with the surgery nurses, and also had a few giggles with my doctor, whom I also love to pieces!

We got into the surgery room while wide awake and I started shaking. I wasn't really scared but my nerves were on end, I was extremely scared of feeling the pain, the feeling of being cut open again. The anesthesiologist was so wonderful he spoke softly and only so I could hear making sure I knew that everything was going to be okay, that this time around it was all going to be different and I wouldn't feel a thing. We had a few minor problems finding the spinal fluid because of some disk that are cracked. It hurt like heck at some one point so my doctor and the head nurse rubbed my arms and I was able to lay my head on their shoulder if  needed. To me that was a great gift. I felt so much love from all of them. My doctor was able to crack a few jokes and little did I know, I stopped shaking, and went comfortably numb! :) Did you read that!? NUMB!!! I was numb I didn't feel a THING!!!

My husband was finally able to come in and join the fun, He was a little panicked at first not sure how to feel, or if I was feeling any pain, or if I was numb. He finally sat down and I told him I felt fantastic, and I said they should be starting anytime, then everybody started laughing, I was so confused! I asked what they were laughing at and they said they were half way done! I couldn't help but laughing, I was awake, I was talking to people, I felt apart of this birth, they told ME I was doing great, that things were going great, he took his time, it wasn't rushed, it was just so wonderful! :D

On April 18th 2011 at 8:30 a.m. Or beautiful Gracie McCrae Turnboo was born. Weighing 8lbs 13 oz and 21 inch's long. She was beautiful and I cried. I felt so over joyed, They let me love on her for a few minutes before they took her away. They had to use suction on her because she wasn't coming out, thanks to the scar tissue that had accumulated from the last c-section. It's a blessing that we didn't opt to go with the vbac this time....It would of ended in a c-section, because she was breech. The bruise on the little ladies eye was from the suction they used. They only place they could grab her.

Recovery went wonderfully! I didn't throw up....at all....what so ever! For me that is major!  I throw up something terrible after surgery! I was alert through the whole recovery, I was answering questions, I was responding to being able to move my feet, I was even keeping liquids down! The only pain medication I needed at first was Ibuprofen! I had her on Monday, and was let go from the hospital on Wednesday...I can hardly believe it. What a blessing. I was able to get up and walk that night also. I still can't believe that I'm moving around and having such a wonderful time being a mom.

All I can say is " The Lord Knows What He's Doing After all" I've been truly blessed. Thanks so much for the prayers and comfort that everybody has given me...I couldn't of done this alone. Faith is an amazing thing! 

ps The wound healed in the first week. I still need to heal a little more, but no infection, and no pain...is so wonderful!

Update.

So it's been over a month since I've updated my blog. I'm doing extremely well, had a bit of some stress but I can't complain to much. Not sure what I posted last time ( I swear forgetting things is part of the pregnancy, well I'm blaming it on that at least! ;) ) I failed my 1 hour sugar level test...so I had to go in for my 3 hour...It was TRIPLE what it was supposed to be while fasting. That means they could of easily put me on shots. So I have been monitoring myself, for the last month and my blood sugars have been fantastic! 87-90 while fasting and 120 an hour after eating. The doctors have on explanation for what happened during those test. I haven't changed my eating habits all that much. I do watch what I eat...but I haven't taken out anything since I found out. Plus I don't go around drinking pure sugar water either...like the stuff they give you at the doctors office.

I also came down with walking Pneumonia, and a massive sinus infection. It took me down for about a little over two weeks. But the baby had no issues what so ever! Which I am truly grateful for!  I'm doing well, I'm tired, and so, so ready for this baby, but I will not complain! I've been blessed by the Lord with hardly any complications like I did with my son.

Last few weeks, I found out my papa had cancer (papa=grandpa) This man I look up to as one of the greatest men who ever has lived. It hit me kind of hard, but I had a feeling that everything would be okay, that I didn't need to stress, and I didn't need to worry. :) He went through surgery today and is doing well. :) I can't tell you how much the power of prayer has helped me in my life. They did find the cancer early enough that the outcome looks good. Hopefully by the time he recovers our baby Gracie will be with us, before they have to travel back home.

My adopted grandma also passed. She too had cancer but had turned 90 two months before she died. This hit me hard too. I knew she wasn't doing the greatest but it's one of those things that you don't want to happen or you put it in the back of your mind because you don't want to think about it. I just wish I would of gotten to know her sooner, and had more time to spend with her.  But I do know she is in heaven and is in a much better place now.

On a happier note we want to try and have Gracie on April 9th....I know people say wait until she comes and don't push things....but I will have to be going into another c-section. If I wait until she is ready I fear I will be put into a situation like I was last time where it ended up a stressed mess... I have been having a lot of contractions lately and for the health of myself and the baby a stress free delivery would be wonderful! My son was also a little over a week early....My true due date is the 22 of April, so if we waited until the 18th....I'm afraid she would already be here...and I'd be rushed into a emergency c-section....not sure I could handle it... :( But it's something my doctor and I are really talking about. I'll keep you updated.

I am truly blessed. Truly....Life isn't perfect, but to me it's almost there. I'm so grateful for what I have, and the love and support of so many people. This will become a new chapter in my life! :)

Just Keep Breathing.

You know, church is an amazing thing. I don't think with out the Lord in my life I wouldn't have the strength to move forward, or even on. I haven't been to church for about a month...Bad I know...Between my husband and son getting sick, then getting the news that Jake's Grandmother had breast cancer, then with myself coming down with walking pneumonia, and finding out that I have a mass on my shoulder that will need to be taken out. And I might have to take Insulin shots. All in one month, one right after another takes it's toll, and I didn't know how much I would need the words and songs spoken at church.yesterday. Some reason they were meant just for me. 

I was fine until the end of the song. This song has a deep meaning for me...and I cry all the time during the song...but for some reason this song hit me especially hard and I just completely lost it.......The song is called Nearer, My God, To Thee.  

1. Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
still all my song shall be,
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

2. Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
yet in my dreams I'd be
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

3. There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
all that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
angels to beckon me
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

4. Then with my waking thoughts bright with
thy praise,
out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
so by my woes to be
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

5. Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,
still all my song shall be,
nearer, my God, to thee;
nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

I know all I need to get through my trials are, to look to the Lord and ask for his help. There is always a reason for everything that happens in our lives, it's our choice to take care of them, or to hide and ask why is it always happening to me!? We should really be asking Why Not Me!

I know some people don't share my religion and that is perfectly fine, but ask me why I don't talk to people, or get help...The answer is...because not everybody knows what I am going through, not everybody will understand, I do talk to people, family, friends. ( Trust me with out them I would be nothing) but Sometimes you don't have anywhere to turn, to ask for more help, sometimes you don't know even what to say, or feel stupid for asking a question that might not make sense. Even though you may have the greatest support system, sometimes it takes more then a human figure to be there. That's why I turn to the Lord, I've gone through so much and I know it's because I needed it in my life, I needed to learn to have more faith and not to wonder. I turn to the Lord with things I can't handle, and by some miracle I'm able to get through them, and eventually know why I went through it.

Second Birth Choice.

As hard as the Doctor and I tried. We have decided that the only safe thing to do with the second baby is have another C-section. When we went in for the second ultra sound, it didn't go so well. Nothing is wrong with our little girl thank heavens!!! They can't see any scar tissue with an ultra sound, but it's what they couldn't find that bothered them. The scar tissue is so bad, that they can't even see the scar from the first C-section which they are suppost to be able to see with the ultra sound. She also had an extremely hard time find how full my bladder was....

I've been having a really hard time with this, but I truly know that this is the safest way for both the baby and myself. When my doctor is able to see how much scar tissue there is, he said with baby number three (if we choose to) He will know exactly what we are up against.

The only true reason i'm scared is because of what happend in the past, but I have to always remind myself "DEAL NOT DWELL!" My doctor has gone over what exactly will happen, what the cut is going to look like, what kind of stitches and stapples will be used. He will also be putting a drain tube in so that there won't be anything that can sit around and pool to cause an infection. It makes me more comfortable to know what he will doing, who will be there to help him, and how hard he is going to try to make me feel like everything will be okay. 

He still hasn't decided if he wants me to labor or not....we will play that by ear...but any of you my friends want to come and visit me you are more then welcome...Really you truly are welcome lol...it will be one long week for me!