Second Time Around...

Well we are expecting our second baby in April of 2011 and i'm over joyed but i'm extremely nervous going into round number two. As most people know I had a c-section that went totally wrong, and I got E-coli from the hospital for two straight months I was completely laid out not remembering most of the first parts of my sons life. 


But as the saying goes "deal not dwell" and that is what I am doing. I would really like to go the second time around with a Vbac instead of a c-section again. At least I would like to try and "labor" in the hospital and decide from there. Of course I want what is the best for the baby and myself. But I want to have options...I don't want to be told it's what I HAVE to do. 


I have been reading and studying and trying to weight my options, and of course praying is on the top of my list! :) Down the road Jake and I would love to have more children, but most of the time after 4 c-sections ( if we want that many) they say that's enough for you. Who wants to be told how many children they can and can't have? 


There is a wonderful friend that I have been blessed with and has done her searching and has helped me see what I can ask doctors and how to stand my ground. My husband is also a big help because he knows what I want. 


Tomorrow I go in for a doctors appointment to meet with a specialist...I'm not high risk as of right now. I am feeling healthy, and the cancer has been gone for over a year. I am over weight but I had no complications in my previous pregnancy until I went into the c-section.... :( 


I just at least once...want the feeling of knowing what it's like to give birth vaginally, Yeah i'm sure women are laughing at that one...but I promise you one thing....I never in my life want to go through the pain that I did. And i'm sure it wouldn't be as painful. I want to be awake and alert... when the baby comes out...not in the recovery room for two hours. 


Don't get me wrong I will do what ever it takes to have a healthy baby....and if vbac isn't for me then so be it, but I want to know more, i'm craving for that knowledge. I know most people won't care, and think i'm crazy...but honestly I think the only way I can express myself with out being a hormonal mess is writing about it. And this is helping! I will write another blog tomorrow on what I find out from the doctors! Wish me luck!!!